Why is it that parents don’t EVER REALLY tell you the “FUN” stuff that happens after you become a parent? They mention it in vague terms , such as “Just you wait.” or, if you happen to live in the South, “You are surely going to pay for your raisin’.” But never do they mention the specifics. Never do they mention that you shall be up for 20 hours nursing sick children while you yourself are so ill that your eyesight becomes so blurred there are two of everything,expecting lollypop toting munchkins to come singing from under the sink at any moment. Covered in several unmentionable substances, your hair in a scrunchy long lost it’s SCRUNCH. This was never mentioned anywhere in Dr.Spock or Dr. Sears, trust me, I’ve read them all. No where does it say anything about you wanting to sleep in the bathtub because it looks comfortable at 2 a.m. while one child is barfing into the sink, and the other is barfing into the toilet. ANNNNND, just when you think you’ve caught a break your husband comes home quivering like lime jello , (same consistency and color) , running a temp of 101.4 , saying a volcano is exploding out of my head, and oh by the way if I don’t make the bathroom now, there’ll be more of me on the floor for you to clean? NO ONE tells you these things at the altar, when you stand there all star spangled , breezing past the “in sickness and in health” line lah-de-dah …..My body now oozes down into the cracks of the sofa under the comforter waiting for the next wave of whatever the crap this is to hit , and as I pull the covers up over my head, I recite this mantra to myself , clicking my furry slippers together three times , “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…………….
It’s so rainy , grey and cold here today. The boys got up feeling under the weather , grey and cold too. They grabbed their big soft comforters and and rolled themselves up like hedgehogs on the sofa with me. Not long after the dogs decided that we looked warm and comfy also. I am left with a tiny corner perched with my laptop . It is so very quiet. Only the sound of the rain on the tin roof, and two little ( not really so little anymore) boys breathing,soft as fairies’ breath, interspersed with a tiny dogs snores. The boys are 15 and 13 now and I can’t help but think , I must grab this moment to myself . For how much longer will they lay with me on the sofa in the mornings? Bittersweet, and magical , two dark heads, once both tiny enough to lay on my breast at the same time , now hang off the sofa , at all angles. They still hug me , and give kisses. And aren’t so absorbed with girls that I am a side note already. I know it is coming.
I see the glances my 15 year old gives the sweet young things at church. They smile at him with that look that only a teenage girl can have. Knowing . Even if I weren’t his mother , I would know he were handsome. Raven-haired and crystal green eyes , with just the right amount of cleft in his chin. And oh, his smile. But he doesn’t know he attracts them. He sees only friends who “happen” to be girls. I smile to myself.
My 13 year old , curls of black, with eyes so blue you could touch the ocean in them, finds solace in quiet places . He is not a social butterfly, and wishes nothing more than for girls to be on another planet somewhere at this point in his life. But they secretly smile for him too. They see that he is shy, so they don’t invade his space , but they watch him from afar , and whisper behind their hands to one another. The rumors get back to me. I gently tease him , and he rolls those beautiful eyes at me.
But this morning I shall soak up every precious , beautiful moment , while they are here, and belong wholly to me. Even though as I lay here typing , my legs are totally asleep from the combined weight of boy and dog . I have never had a happier moment.
You know when you have toddlers, or babies and you keep saying to yourself, in the words of Darius Rucker’s song , “It won’t be like this for long.” , that becomes your hope. Well, as a mother to a 14 year old, and a 12 year old, let me dash your hopes upon the cold , hard ,sticky linoleum floor. Recap of my day…….Awake at 1:00 am, whiny puppy. Awake at 3 am, whiny puppy. Awake at 5 30 am, whiny children. Stoke the stove, make breakfast, do math until numbers dance drunken patterns before my eyes. Try to decide if my stomach trouble is any of the following…….stress, medications, stomach flu, or a combination. Children hollering at me through the bathroom door. Home phone ringing. Cell phone ringing. Dog barges in on me in the bathroom. For crying out loud, shut the door!!! Cat barges in on me in the bathroom. Husband calls and says, “Sorry you had lunch hot and ready. I won’t be home until who knows when.” Cold lunch. Thought a nice hot bath would be just the ticket. Hot bath ended in cut leg from shaving, and a rash from the soap I decided to use. So, it’s not bottles , diapers and projectile vomiting. It’s dessicated banana peels under sloppy beds, and algebra homework. It’s not teething and pacifiers. It’s driving and “Momma, can I dye my hair blue?” So, for all you stressed out new moms, with the spit-up on your day old jogging pants……….just you wait……..
I just read on YAHOO!news that the average allowance for an American child is $65.00 a month. That’s $16.25 a week. We’re talking middle-school age children. That’s the 8-12 year old set. Now, that was an average , so of course some children get less. But, that also means that some children get MORE. So my next question is, “For what?!?” The article mentions that they aren’t saving it, (DUH!) , so what does a pre-teen need with what amounts to a twenty dollar bill a week? I can tell you what for. JUNK. That’s right, I said it…..J-U-N-K. Wanna’ know how I know? I have an 11 year old, and a 13 year old. I’ll be right up front about it, too. They DO receive allowance. $10 a week per child. But , guess what. They have to EARN it. They each have a list of chores that have to be done in order to “get paid” on Friday. They jointly have to clean their room. One child takes care of the dogs’ care and well-being everyday, and one child takes care of the chickens. They both have to wash the dishes, and do their school work without complaint. IF they want an item that’s more than the $10, well tough noogies. They just have to save for it. Am I a mean parent? I honestly don’t think so. But before you judge, let’s not forget that in the real world, you work, or you don’t get paid. You do the work, and do it well, or you get fired. No job~ no money~ no groceries. If you want something that’s more than what you have at the time, you just have to save for it. When you grow up, as fun as it might be, in reality you CANNOT blow your whole check on video games. Do this long enough and you will find yourself in a serious state. I’ve had people tell me , “Well, they’re just little . You ought to let them just have that money.” Well, if I don’t teach them now, when will they learn? Heading out the door to their own home, thinking “whoo-hoooooo!” ? I don’t think you do your child any favors by indulging them in this way. They may be little now, but it is flying by , faster and faster everyday. I want my young ones to be prepared, ’cause if they’re not……..let me tell ya’ the real world will reach up and slap you smack-dab in the face.
I just want to take a few lines to be the proud mama for once. I don’t usually post a lot about my kids because I don’t want them to grow up and be annoyed with me for posting about them, lol. 🙂 But, I do want to brag about my oldest son for a sec. He is 13 and a half , ( oh, that ‘oh so important half!’), and has just grown by leaps and bounds this year. Not physically necessarily, ( he was only about 4 pounds with major complications when he was born) , but emotionally , and in maturity he has expanded a lot.
He’s outside using the weedeater while Daddy is cleaning up brush out of the yard. He also asked if I could help him study for the driver’s permit test he can take when he is 14. He’s been doing his chores without complaint and buckling down to school with no eye rolling or huffing. ( Those of you with teens will know exactly what I mean by “huffing”.)
For those of you who don’t know us, our son was not expected to live when he was born by emergency C-section. He has what they call complete AV block , and has a pacemaker. When the doctors finally came around and told us he would live, they told us not to expect him to ever walk, talk, or be “normal”, whatever that is. So to see him out working is just awesome for us. What can I say? If I think about it long enough, I’ll get that old tear in my eye. He’s a living example of never give up no matter what.
Alrighty. I ‘ve bragged enough for the day! Hope you are having a great day , wherever you are!
(Oh, and the reason why there is no photo posted with this is that I could not merit posting an actual photo of the behaviors that I am railing about! 🙂
Well, it is soapbox jumping time again! I would say I promise not to get back up on it this week, but that might be a lie. So without further ado, I will jump right in.
I ‘m a fairly modern girl. I ‘m not what you would describe as a prude. I like clothes that fit my body, and are stylish. Before I had stretch marks, and the “mommy” tummy, I even wore a bikini . (I was younger, much younger than I am now!) But , I just have to mention, I am tired of taking my 13 and 11 year olds to town, and everywhere they go, women have their body parts hanging out. And it’s not just the women.
I’ve seen this with men too. Now, I’m not a mean person, and I know some people cannot afford new or even used clothes. But , these are not the people I’m talking about. I’m talking about the women who are carrying hundred-dollar handbags, and shoes that cost more than my husband makes in a week. But, somehow, with all that money , they couldn’t afford to buy a whole shirt. And I swear sometimes, it’s like these men are buying a certain brand of underwear just so they can show it off when their pants are down around their knees. I guess I just don’t understand. These teenage girls? Their parents let them leave the house looking like that? If I had tried to wear some of the things that I’ve seen on girls lately, my dad would have locked me up and thrown away the key. He always told me, “You don’t advertise what ain’t for sale.” Period. And really it is the parents who should be saying something. If your daughter is 12 , she does not need to try to look 21. And if your son is 12, his hind-end should not be hanging out where people can gawk at it. I might be paranoid, but I don’t want my sons to draw some child predator’s attention, by dressing inappropriately. I’m sure there are people who don’t agree with me, and that’s ok , too. To each their own. But I just had to say something! I obviously would never tell another parent how to raise their children, but I’m saying now, if you ever see mine in town with their heinies hanging out, you have my permission to snatch their pants back up to where they belong.