Dear political candidates,
I would like to take this time to express my sincere thanks for all the political flyers , postcards, pamphlets and papers that you have so graciously inundated my mailbox with at this particular time of year. We receive at least four or five pieces of said mail each day. They are compact , and concise and state your views so that we know where you stand. They are very handy. See, we are a small , backwoods family, that burns wood in the winter. These flyers make excellent kindling. We can just roll them up , keep them in our stove -side basket and voila’ , instant flames for our toasty wood heater. So in conclusion , just keep sending us those precious flyers , and postcards , with the promises on them that you don’t intend to keep. It’s so much fun watching them go up in smoke .