About Me~, Uncategorized

Make ‘Em Wonder~

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WHooooo-wheeeee. This may be one of those let it all out there posts. So if you know me, and have been anywhere within the radius of one of my brutally honest posts, perhaps you should duck n cover now. 🙂 Nah. It’s not aimed toward any one particular person, it’s just a series of thoughts that I’ve had lately. (My family is already groaning! “Oh great…….she’s had ANOTHER series of thoughts…….!) And besides I’ve posted poetry the last 3 or 4 posts so I’m due a real conversation with everyone for a change. After all, the banner on my blog DOES say, “finding the funny, fearless, and furious things about everyday life”, so buckle up your big boy belts, peeps, and ahhhhwaaaay we go!
This is about attitudes. Now admittedly, I have a sarcastic, let’s have fun, roll with the moment, positive attitude just about most of the time. Most people say , “She’s a glass half full kind of person.” , for which I am glad. I like smiling! I like making other people smile. But, here’s the 411 everyone. The down low. The real secret to what lies behind that smile. I HAVE TO WORK AT IT. So there you go. For those regular readers of this blog, this next section will be old hat, so feel free to skip ahead. Ok? Cool. Now for you newbies here , I HAVE LUPUS. What is that ?!? Some weirdo tropical disease? Some mutant form of bacteria that will eventually transform me into a werewolf? HA. I wish. No, it’s this whackadoodle immune system disorder that turns your bodies protection systems against itself, and is killing your own organs off with friendly fire. Think it doesn’t sound too bad? Well, mine decided my heart looked like a great lunch-time snack, my nervous system looked like the appetizer, and basically all the joints, muscles and connective tissue in my body were the main course. Picture the patch-wearing evil villain holding your body above a cauldron of lava and dipping you in over and over and over again, you burn and burn , but are never consumed. FUN, right? Uh, yeah. So what does all this have to do with said main topic of attitude? Well, see, I’ve decided that “OKay. I have lupus. Yep. IT SUCKS. ” But this is NOT any one else’s fault, heck, it’s not even MY fault!! Why should I go around all miserable, grouching at everyone? Ok, I’m in crrraaaazzzzy pain. STILL not anyone’s fault. And taking out my problem on some one else, is NOT going to help my lupus go away. And lest you think I’m some scion of positivity, I’ll let you know right up front , I’m not! I’ve cried! More than people know. I’ve been angry , about this disease. My house is in a constant state of , as my friend Laura so ingeniously put it C.H.A.O.S. ~ That’s can’t have anyone over syndrome 🙂 because maintaining a magazine worthy house is so far down on the list of things to care about at this point!! But as cliché as it sounds, you just have to LET IT GO. Life is beautiful. PEOPLE are what matter. And let me tell you something , if you open yourself up, just that tiny , tiny bit it takes to smile , instead of thinking in that moment, “I am so angry, frustrated, and defeated with my life!!” , you will be surprised where that smile will take you. And the more you work at it, ( and sometimes it IS WORK!as some people don’t seem to care for the cheerful disposition of others) , the more you will see that maybe, just maybe it makes things seem just a teeny -tiny bit easier to deal with, and if you are into it for results only, it will ACTUALLY get people to be nicer in return causing all kind of perks to flow your way. I’ve had it work for me lots of times ( now the key here is SINCERITY , as fellow grumpies can tell a faker from a mile away!) but seriously! I guess my final thought would have to be , the world is so incredibly negative now. And the health issues caused by inner anger and turmoil are well documented. So if you smile, what did you hurt? Really? If you just let a few more non essential things go, will the world stop turning? Or will it perhaps turn just a little slower in the direction of a more beautiful life , for yourself, and those around you?

Here’s to just letting it go~ Ruby Jeanette

About Me~

Play On~

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Life is like playing a violin solo in public, and learning the instrument as one goes on. ~ Samuel Butler

Life is what happens while we are making other plans. ~ John Lennon

When we are young we hear our parents or maybe our grandparents say things like this. Life isn’t fair. Or, life doesn’t turn out the way we plan. Or life doesn’t play favorites. And when we are young and strong and full of energy and good health, we look at them with our heads slightly turned, and maybe roll our eyes a little when they look away. As in, “They are old. What could they possibly know?” We are in those glorious teenage years and know all there is to know about living, and people, and the world around us, and think , “Nothing can touch me!” Then suddenly we are grown and employed and parents . We have bills, and children , and homes to keep up. Then the worst happens. Our own bodies fail us. The very immune systems set up to watch over our health suddenly go rogue and turn into vampiric assassins of all that we hold dear. Our lungs, heart, liver, kidneys, blood, skin, bones and anything else you can think of become daily snack food for this leech of a disease. It’s lupus and it’s not anything you can ever be schooled for. No matter what your parents tell you growing up, you are never prepared for something like this. It really is like performing a solo in public, on an instrument that you don’t know how to play. And no matter how much you wish it, you can’t get off the stage . You just have to keep playing. Maybe you hit some of the notes, and maybe you don’t. Hopefully, though, by the end, I will have learned the song well enough to teach the next student in line, and help them play a little better.

About Me~

Empty~

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You know , it’s coming round spring again. Or it’s trying to. The weather here in Arkansas can never seem to make up its mind this time of year. You know how it goes. Thirty degrees one day and seventy the next. Cold and grey, gloomy and wet. The wind seems to suck up any hope of anything new and fresh that dares to stick its head above ground. Sometimes that’s the way lupus makes me feel. My mind tries so very , very hard to stay positive, you know? Every day I wake up in a genuinely good mood. I really do. I am a seriously positive person. Ask anyone who knows me. That’s not bragging. It’s who I am. I was born that way. I don’t have a problem seeing the glass as half full. But , the problem is, that with lupus, you have two holes in the bottom of your glass. Constant pain, and mind -blowing fatigue. So no matter how hard you work to keep the glass full , it is constantly running empty. Empty. EMPTY. You’re tired. You’re running to the faucet. You’re filling your bucket. Dump it in the glass. Smile. The glass is full for a little while longer. But , only for a little while. Run. Run. RUN!! Empty again. Empty. empty. empty. smile. pick it up. pickituppickituppickitup……….that’s lupus. Then people begin to wonder. About why you feel stuck in between winter and spring. In that place between blue and grey. They haven’t been there , so they don’t see….. because they don’t have two holes in their glass…..they are only worried about the color, the color of their glass, the size of their glass, the shape of their glass, how much their glass cost…they just don’t see how much it cost me every day to keep my glass even halfway full…

About Me~

The Good, The Bad, and the Hearse……..~

I’ve had a really fantastic weekend! I’ve felt good, and gotten to spend some quality time with my guys. I made Sunday morning service, and am going to make Sunday night service, too. That’s a big deal for me. We had a mini fishing tourney for our kids from church yesterday, and then had a fish fry. The kids all seem to have had a really great time, and I was up and around most of the day without too much incident. I sure was tired though! When you have a day like that after many, many days of not having enough “oomph” to roll off the sofa, it sure makes it special. I think there are probably a lot of people who don’t realize how good they have it, and take a LOT of things for granted. Like having enough energy to go shopping. Or feeling well enough to wash your own hair. Or perhaps biggest and most important of all, having enough strength to do something special with your children. I don’t want to take a single day for granted, good or bad. ‘Cause as a friend of mine used to say, “From the day you’re born, til you ride in the hearse, things are never so bad , that they couldn’t get worse!” Luckily, today has been a good day! 🙂

About Me~

Find the Chink~

You know , I’ve finally come to the conclusion that sometimes , just maybe, certain people may just NOT like me no matter what I do.
I am a people pleaser way down deep. I like when people like me. I don’t even mind going out of the way to be nice to people who are ugly to me. It kind of burns them , actually. But , I may have to accept defeat in a certain situation. Or maybe I just need to work harder to find the smile chink. See, I have a theory. I think everyone has a smile chink. That particular spot that when struck by the niceness hammer will shatter , and they will eventually smile. Some people’s chinks are just hidden REALLY well. The funny thing is, it really bothers me to see people unhappy. I know that is the real reason people are unfriendly, unsmiling, or even downright rude. It is disturbing to them to see someone happy, and maybe even a little tiny bit humbling for them to see someone happy who just happens to be in worse circumstances than they are. So the uncomfortable feelings make them lash out at the person causing them to feel uncomfortable. But, just so you know. I think EVERY one can be happy. It’s more of a choice really. Now before you get all annoyed, and say , “Well, I’ve had a really rough go at life, and I’m not happy because of things that have happened to me!” Well, did being UNHAPPY change those things? It didn’t did it? It just made you miserable WHILE they were happening! See, I can’t DO anything about having lupus. I can’t CHANGE the fact that my heart is faulty. But, I can CHOOSE to be happy in spite of it! I choose to go about in life unarmored to other people’s niceness hammers. I want to share my smile with those I meet. Because I can’t change their situations either. But, I CAN help them to see that life is NOT a lost cause!

About Me~

When All Else Fails, Smile!

It’s a beautiful day outside my window today! I am SO, SO, SO grateful to be seeing the sun from my own window, and not that of the hospital. I was very lucky this particular hospital visit, too, because every single person I came in contact with was nice. Seriously! They were all enjoying their jobs, and happy to be at work helping people. Let me tell ya, that’s not always the case. I have an idea. I think hospitals should use the same criteria for hiring that customer service rep companies do. Such as,” Are you a people person?” , “Do you enjoy working with the public?” , “Are you interested in making some one else’s day better while they are here?” GREAT! This job is for you!! But I HAVE had hospital experiences where I do believe I have never seen so many grouchy people in my life! Everywhere I went there people were angry, aggravated, annoyed, alarmed or something. Now, granted, I know these are tough times. Times are tight, and money’s even tighter. It’s not fun to HAVE to work. Long hours, and low pay suck. And I ‘m sure that nursing must be a VERY difficult and emotionally trying job. But, I am beginning to wonder if people have forgotten where we live. I mean, it’s still America, right? Land of the free, home of the brave , and all that that implies? Sure, we’re having tough times, but we’ve still got more freedoms than just about any other place I know of. You can get up in the morning and go to work, or not. You can buy macaroni, or filet mignon, if you wanna, (and can afford it!). You can wear a striped shirt, some dotted pants, and a pink bow in your purple hair. You might get some looks, but no one will tell you , you can’t do that.(Well, I mean your mother might, but it isn’t illegal.) You can drive your car, go home to your house, of whatever size , and pretty much feel safe. These are all good things right? And I know everyone is entitled to have a bad day. But , you are not entitled to take your bad day out on someone else. Especially when that person is the one IN the hospital bed. I mean, compared to that , your life’s lookin’ pretty good , don’t ya think? So, I swear the next time I get admitted to the ER or the hospital and smile at someone, and they snarl at me……I may just have to get angry, aggravated, annoyed, alarmed or something!

Seriously…..life is good …..so SMILE! it freaks people out!~ Ruby Jeanette