Wow. What a whack a doodle weekend. Well actually two whackadoodle weekends in a row. I have never been so sick of hospitals , nurses ,and doctors in my whole life. The funny thing is the two weekends could not have been more varied. Last weekend 4th floor of the hospital, I got nice nurses, wonderful doctors, awesome treatment, everything explained in execellent fashion , all gold stars all around, diagnosis of extreme dehydration , complete weakness , body gone down to the bare nubs with a viral infection. So last weekend, I got antibiotics , tons of fluids, and treated very well with much rest and respect. This weekend, I get an Emergency call at my home at 7 pm saying my labs were seriously out of order, my INR clotting factor needing to be a 2 and was a 19, so basically I could bump my leg and bleed to death. GET TO THE HOSPITAL TO BE ADMITTED ASAP> 2nd floor nurses, not so awesome, couldn’t get their junk together , total spazzes, tourniqetted up my arm , but forgot that you need vacutubes BEFORE you draw the blood and just left me wrenched up that way, while she went to get her forgotten tools. In and out , up and down all friggin night, no sleep , Then the doctor decides he doesn’t have to come in to speak with me, and can just order his lackeys to basically come in and run me over roughshod with a bunch of tests that I had already had once , that he wanted repeated for no good reason. But the doctor didn’t want to plan a plan for my care just go all willy nilly. Well I lost it. For one thing they all talked OVER me or AT me instead of TO me, as if I were a mindless vegetable in the bed. I guess my righteous lupus indignation rose up and I proceeded to have a lupus hissy. I said , You do not talk to me like I am stupid. I am right here, and if you want to do something you talk to ME. These tests were done once, why are we repeating them? And these nurses, all night, in and out, couldn’t get their gear together, I got no sleep. For NO reason. THEY ARE supposed to KNOW their jobs. So until people can get their crap together , and get me a coherent plan , don’t come talk to me. They all looked at me like I had grown a third head, but seriously! Lupus has fried my body, NOT my brain! I am sick not stupid. And when your doctor comes in and just doesnt’ really inspire confidence that he knows what is going on with your VERY complicated situation, you don’t just sit there and think , “Hmmmm, should I put my life in this guys hands or what?” “Let me think, hmmmmmm?” I THINK not!” Well, today the nurse must have told him what I said because he was totally different this morning, very deferential. And I HATE being a bully, but DAGNABBIT, this is their JOB! People’s lives hang in the balance. This isn’t checkers, folks. Get it right the first time please. Or I promise I WILL put on my LUPUS fighting panties and go at it with you . It ain’t purty , but it gets the job done. I’m thinking of giving lupie assertiveness classes , seems like there may be call for them, lol Love you all ❤ 🙂 and as always (hugs) ~ Ruby Jeanette
This is a poem I wrote today after seeing some birds outside my window. I got to thinking about how optimistic they are in the face of how the weather still is outside today. It is beautiful here today, but still chillingly cold. The sun was out, but the wind was biting. The birds , however just looked so very happy to be out in the gorgeous redbud tree. The buds of the tree themselves were totally unfazed. Just brightly purple ,contrasted nicely with the red of the birds, who seemed so contented to just see spring finally arriving after the winter of snow and ice, that it was hard to fault their joy. It was beautiful to watch them enjoy the sunshine, and eating the seeds that they were finding. I was almost envious of their joy. It was very inspiring. Just a little something I wanted to share with you . Something that caught my attention today. Hope this finds you feeling creative , or inspired by something, that maybe you haven’t really noticed before in your life, or that maybe you have, but noticed it in a new way. ~ Ruby Jeanette
A quiet foggy morning. The river lies low.
A lone fly -fisherman is hoping to catch a trout.
Ripples and waves,
trickle and play.
The trees stoop over the water.
Reaching for their drink for the dawn.
Nibbling the hickory nut away from its branch.
Appetizer on a limb.
It’s breakfast ,
Did you ever have one of those days where you just couldn’t help it, you HAD to feel good about yourself? 🙂 Today was one of those days for me! I guess with chronic illness, you have to take the good where you can find it, and today, I cleaned out my refrigerator and wiped it completely down, cleaned my microwave, toaster, stove and countertops. I also mopped the kitchen floor. Yay, me! Of course, I also helped the boys with their school work which is an everyday thing, cooked lunch and supper for the family, re – arranged the pantry, and made my shopping list for tomorrow. Whew. I sure am tired, but proud. It’s been quite a few days since I felt like doing that much activity in a day. All that usually would have been about a week’s worth of work . But , I hung in there. I also carried the boys to church service by myself last night, cause hubster pulled 12 hours yesterday and looked like our bassett hound on a rough day when he got home. 🙂 It sure was nice to see all the fruit of my labors , though. I guess I just wanted to say something positive for a change and let people know that even with a life threatening illness, not EVERY day is a bad day. And sometimes that makes those very rare good days all the much sweeter.
You can only pick one. What kind of filling do you hope is inside? Caramel? Coconut? Orange? Raspberry? Or maybe you’re a peppermint creme kind of person? You only get one. Maybe we even change the rules and say , “It’s the last piece of chocolate you’ll EVER get. ” Oooooh. Then what would you say? If you knew this , would you take your time? Would you somehow decide differently? Would you read the back of the box to make SURE you got the piece you really wanted? I don’ t know. I don’t think I would choose differently. I wouldn’t put a lot of research into it. It IS only chocolate after all. We can’t live our lives in fear. Even if the fear is of choosing the wrong flavor chocolate. You have to put yourself out there, love with abandon, live freely, smell the roses, and what not. Do a little more hand holding, a little more slow walking, and lot more laughing. A little more sunny, a little more blue sky, and a lot more of the people we love best. We only get one go around here in the end. Will you waste your time on fear? Fear of choosing the wrong thing? You can spend so much time in the choosing itself, that life passes you by while you worry. I’m going to spend a little less time in useless fretting and a little more time enjoying my chocolate. Whatever flavor it might turn out to be!