About Me~, chronic illness, humor, inspirational, Uncategorized, Writing

Are the Odds Even, or the Even Odds?

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Pain is a funny thing. No, not funny “haha”, but  funny “intriguing” .  Pain is our body’s unconscious reflex to avoid something injurious, or to an injury or illness.  In theory, (  scientifically-speaking) it can only be felt in organisms with higher brain function. (Although how they would just that I don’t really know, might not WANT to know. )

Most people bless them, and their good fortune, have only known physical pain  from the standpoint of accident, injury, normal illness etc. They remember these things, but it isn’t an everpresent thought, or ongoing mental conversation they have to have.

But what would you do if you just woke up one day, and the pain never went away? EVER.  Some one once asked me what having my condition was like. I told them, “It’s like your body’s pain function is an old FM radio, with knobs that can be turned up or down. Most people , their knobs function like they should, being able to be set a certain way , pretty much most of the time. But my radio, the knobs are not only non-functional, they’ve been knocked off completely. So I have no way of even adjusting any of it.  It is set permanently at full volume. ” Yeah, fun times.

So pain HAS made me the “odd one out”. When you are 19 and are such an odd medical “rarity” that the doctors bring their students around to “observe” you.  When you are 21 and spending more time in hospitals , than your peers do in clubs.  When you are 25, and the doctor asks, “Where did you go to medical school ? “, (in all seriousness) , because you have more medical knowledge than his interns.

But it’s made me the odd one out in other ways as well. When you are 19, and can empathize with any elderly person, because you have so many medications.  When you are 21 and are able to help another person get a diagnosis, and help them realize, “I’m NOT crazy . This wasn’t all in my head!” , and when you are 25 and are able to educate others about many , many aspects of life-long illness.

You adjust. But you do NOT “get used to it”.  Trust me. Mind-numbing, bone -deep, “Oh  God kill me now.”, pain is NOT something anyone EVER gets used to.

So don’t be fooled by the smile you see  someone wearing. You have no idea what it is costing them.

2 thoughts on “Are the Odds Even, or the Even Odds?”

  1. Thank you for blogging our hearts and thoughts. We are bound my this crazy thing we dont want to think about but as they say we literally cant look away. It really does help to know that by reading your stories we are Not crazy. Its a real madness that others share. Lol . Sending you a big mushy hug. Lucy

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