UGH. Double UGH. I’m miserably behind. Or maybe I’m just miserable, I dunno. I have struggled for the last two days to even stay AWAKE , much less find ANY type of motivation to write. I hate that . I hate it with the flaming passion of a thousand suns. I enjoy writing. It is one of the only things that I will actually do when all else fails. So when I cannot find the motivation to do it, I feel broken . I feel as if lupus has stolen that last little bit of something that makes me tick. If you know what I mean. So , double UGH. AGAIN. Excuse the self-pity , there. Anywho, I’m back. We are 14 days into our “26 Days” series and if you are keeping up, or just joining us the list currently hits at
A: Acknowledge and Accept
C. Find Comfort
D. Get a Doctor or team of them you can trust
E. Exercise ~ even if it’s just a scoonch ( Hey ! Scoonch is a word!)
F. Have Faith
G. Set a Goal , even if it seems small
H. Hugs! Everybody needs them!
I. Sometimes we need, Isolation
J. Rid yourself of Junk
K. Keep Kindness as a philosophy
L. Laugh long, laugh often!
So that brings us currently to ……“P”. Which is actually another difficult letter . It’s something that so many of us struggle with and it adds to our illnesses because so many of us happen to be type “A” people . I don’t know if that happens to be a coincidence, a side effect, or just an anomaly. It’s PERFECTION. And let me tell you first -hand , you are never going to find it. Especially with chronic illness.
I was raised to keep very clean house. Things are supposed to be spotless, right? All the laundry put away, all the dishes done, all the bedrooms done, clean sheets put on, bathrooms completely done up, the works right? And there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. If you’re in a shape to do it, and maintain. But let yourself get struck by never ending fatigue, pain that feels like you’ve been struck by a semi, your joints as if they’ve been somehow super-glued together, and suddenly even MOVING off the sofa, much less moving that laundry basket , it’s just not going to happen. Then your OCD sets in, the anxiety sets in, so the fatigue becomes even worse, the stress level ramps up, your lupus suddenly decides to flare to new heights and you’ve now escalated yourself into hospital -level chaos. Good show , old girl! Great times, what? So. Perfection. Is it actually worth all that?!? I had to decide. Are those boxes in the corner really causing anyone all that much distress? Or am I the only one who really cares. Does anyone really notice that there is a bit of dust on the knick knacks on that shelf? Or am I over reacting ? In the famous words of that Disney song……….”LET IT GO.”
I promise, you really WILL feel much better. And if anyone says anything about it, let THEM go too. HA! Oh, and If I haven’t said it today, I LOVE YOU!! with all my ❤ and 🙂 and as always ((HUGS)) ~ Ruby J.