Hey howdy hey, everybuddy! I hope today finds your basket full of spoons, and that you are brimming with ideas of things you want to do. 🙂
So far in our journey we’ve covered letters A-H, and I hope maybe some of it has helped you.
A: Acknowledge and Accept
C. Find Comfort
D. Get a Doctor or team of them you can trust
E. Exercise ~ even if it’s just a scoonch ( Hey ! Scoonch is a word!)
F. Have Faith
G. Set a Goal , even if it seems small
H. Hugs! Everybody needs them!
Today brings us to a subject that I have struggled to bring up, but I have promised to be honest in all my writing. I mean , if you can’t be honest , why bother putting it down to paper, ( or screen , as it were. ) So here goes.
Today’s letter is obviously “I” , and in my long journey with chronic diseases, I have found that believe it or not, sometimes, just sometimes, ISOLATION helps. That might seem harsh. And I guess probably to our families , and loved ones, who care so deeply about us, it probably is. But being this sick is overwhelming. In a way that , unless you’ve been there, you can’t POSSIBLY understand. Doctor visits, nurses visits, specialists visits, therapy visits, pharmacy visits, family visits, ( and although they mean well, sometimes this is hardest of all. ) “How are you feeling?” , “What do the doctors say?” , “Have you tried that new medicine?”, “Is it working?” . People crowding you in from every side, with every question they can think of. Until you feel you have no air left to breathe, no answers for any questions, no identity except this horrible unseen monster that has taken over every waking moment of your life, and you feel you absolutely MUST GET AWAY! FAR AWAYFARAWAYFARAWAY someplace where you can just let all thoughts of this stupid disease melt away, if only for an hour. This is the hardest thing to explain to the people we love. We want them to feel like they can ask how we are, of course! We want to share that. We want friends, and those in our lives, to care, and feel like they know if they are saying the right things. But sometimes, there JUST IS NO RIGHT THING TO SAY. So when it all starts to pile up into a huge steaming heap of medications, I.V. infusions, chemotherapy, endless rounds of blood draws, and doctors with no answers, we just have to withdraw. (Temporarily , mind you. I’m WAY too much of a ham to ever forgo my “audience” forever 🙂 But if we need to do that, we ask those who love us, “Please give us this space. This time. This isolation . ” I promise, we’ll come out feeling better for it. And I know that’s all our loved ones want. The best “us” available.
And by the way, if I haven’ t said it today, “I LOVE YOU!! with all my ❤ and 🙂 and as always (( HUGS))~ Ruby J.