If you have to wonder if someone is your friend, they’re probably not.
This was a revelation I had a while back. When I was growing up , I was a very optimistic child. I thought that when someone said something, it was true, and that the face they showed the world was the person they really were. If they said they were my “friend” , I believed them whole-heartedly. I didn’t realize that most people are out for only themselves, and will do whatever it takes to get what they want. But, as I’ve grown older, I understand , that sometimes a person has a ulterior motive, for being your “friend”. It was a hard thing to swallow. I wanted SO much to believe that there was inherent good in all the human race, and that no one was completely evil. I’m afraid that I ‘ve discovered that’s not true either.
I have been very blessed in the area of friends. I have quite a few that I could call any hour, of any day, and say I needed something, and they would be there to lift me up, or whatever I needed. The kind of friends you could call a “sure thing”. It’s really difficult to find people like that these days. You don’t have to wonder where they stand with you, or where you stand with them. Honesty prevails. It’s a great feeling to have a friend like that . I need stability in a friendship, and an ability to share equally our thoughts, troubles, and joys. A one sided friendship is a terrible drain on your soul. When all you hear is “THEIR” troubles, “THEIR woes”, and so on. You want to listen and to help, but after a while you wonder ……..when do I get a chance to share? Or worse, that “friend” who is only the friend to your face. When they are around other people, they trash talk you , or make light of your struggles. Of course, then there’s the friend who is friendly to you one day, and cold as ice the next. How do you read someone like that? Either you like me, or you don’t . If you DON’T , okay, but tell me to my face. And last of all, the “friend” who is just there for some fringe benefits. Money , popularity, or favors.
So really it all boils down to honesty and confidence about the friends you have chosen. If you have to wonder ,”Are they really my friend, or are they using me?” You probably just answered your own question. A REAL friend leaves no room for doubt or confusion. You’ll KNOW who they are, because they’ll be ones standing by you when there is nothing, absolutely nothing in it for them. If I could make a wish, it would be that everyone have a least one person like that in their life.