Death. It has a funny way of making us think of the past , present, and future, all at the same time. The should haves, the I’m going tos , and the what -could- have beens.
Death is a difficult topic. People don’t like to think about it. We humans are funny that way. We do that whole ostrich thing. You know the one I mean , “If can’t see IT then maybe that means it can’t see ME, and will go away.” Of course we all know that this doesn’t actually work for us any better than it does for the ostrich, but it helps us deal sometimes, I guess. The process of death and burial also comes with a whole host of familial and financial obligations as well. I think of the plans each person should make before they die. Not just the spiritual side of things, because that, obviously is the most important, but the physical side. Now, what I am about to say is my own opinion, please take it as that, and NOT a comment on the way any one else feels. This is JUST me. I don’t want a funeral. I don’t go to funerals. I am not afraid of death or dying, that is not the reason. I just want to remember the people I knew as they were when they were living, and not remember them in a casket. I’m sure I will receive a lot of flak for this opinion, as some of my own family think I am sacrilegous. I know I am not alone in my view of this , though, as my husband feels the same. He does not wish for people to say words over his dead body. I know death and dying is a very sensitive subject for some people, but really it is a part of life, and will eventually come to us all. I say this not to be a Negative Nelly, but to provoke thought. I guess the best way to say it is to leave you with the words of my Grandpa. “Give me my roses while I still live. Everybody who cares about me, REALLY cares about me, comes to see me now. If you don’t come to see me while I’m livin’ , don’t bother to come to my funeral.” Here is a poem I wrote after Grandpa told me that. I may have this printed as my obituary in the paper.
In This Moment~
Give me my roses , while I yet live,
Don’t leave them on my tomb.
Bring me the flowers, to share with you,
When I still can smell the blooms.
For a visit now, is worth much more,
Than one when I am gone,
So give me my roses , while I still live,
Don’t place them on my stone.
I hope I haven’t offended anyone, as this was not my intent. This is after all an opinion forum, and the opinions here are my own, and not meant to harm. I only wish to help people remember, death is really not far away for any of us. Please let the people you care about , know now how you feel, and don’t wait until you stand over a cold stone to say the words we that we all most long to hear,
I LOVE YOU.