and where I DID find it….
Romance! Ahh, that elusive "something" that all people seem to be in search of. I 've heard people say, "I left my significant other, because we lost "the romance". What is this magical quality worth rooting a relationship or entire life over? It seems to be everywhere, and nowhere at the same time. How do you catch an idea?
I guess my thought on the whole matter is , romance is NOT what most people think it is. It is NOT simply candy, roses, jewelry, candlelit dinners or moonlit walks, although all these things are great. To me the idea most people are in search of is that whole sweep me off my feet, (female version), and sex -all- time (male version), Which I am sorry to say , at least to the fellas anyway, it ain't gonna happen.
When my husband and I first started dating he brought me roses every day. He stopped at the little quick mart, and bought me one every time he got off work. My first Valentine's gift was 2 dozen white roses, a gold necklace and earrings, a black velvet dress ( it was the 90's what can I say), and took me out to dinner. And I loved the gifts, but the funny thing is, I was not a big jewelry wearer, did not dress up much, and would have rather had 2 dozen real rose bushes to plant in my yard, so the gifts showed he didn't know me all that well. My Valentine's gift to him was not much better. I replaced his old class ring with a new one, because I thought it meant a lot to him to be able to wear it again. Turns out, the real reason he didn't wear it , is because he just wasn't a big jewelry wearer either!
So, to those who say , "Well, then . Show us REAL romance! " I say this.
Real romance is his grabbing your hand while you are having a C-Section even though he's as green as a gourd. Real romance is his holding the wet washcloth to the back of your head while you throw up , until you can't throw up anymore. Real romance is spending HIS last dollar to buy you that candy bar you think you can't live without. Real romance is a kiss in the rain, a tear on loan , because you are too tired to cry yourself anymore. Real romance is all the small things you never thought would matter, but do. It's all these things , and so many more I'd need a blog to list all of them!
So when you find yourself thinking, "Romance is dead", you might just be looking in the wrong places. Instead of boxed chocolates and fancy dinners, it's chocolate pudding cups and macaroni and cheese. Instead of gold jewelry , it's new dishtowels. Instead of cut flowers , it's a tomato plant for your garden.
All these things are where I find my romance after 16 years together. And I find that I don't mind. I don't mind at all. Romance isn't dead after all.